Stillness

A lot of thought has been given to the idea of stillness. Not in the sense of motionlessness but finding the stillness of whatever moment I am living in. It can be found in the busiest crowd or on the quietest mountain slope or better yet, inside of me. Being up at Jess's ranch has given me time to find the stillness inside me that gets lost often. Hiking, yoga, hammocking, and long long chats with great friends has given me the peace to find this again. Searching for myself is much easier once I find the stillness of being in the moment and letting the world show me the way.

I am coming home on Tuesday and I know I need to find a way to carry on the quiet I have found out here.

Getting Lost in the Mountains

Mt. Evans - cold! 30 degrees and 30mph winds. Mt. Bierstadt is in the background. We drove up Mt. Evans, highest paved road in N. America - it is sketchy and narrow in too many places.

Hiked up to about 12,500 and drove the rest of the way. Lots of clothes were required - 85 in Denver, 60 at the Trailhead, and freezing at the summit.

Tucker was psyched on his pack-pack. It gave an otherwise ADD dog purpose and focus. He stayed on the trail all day and waited for me often. Quite sure he had the best day ever hiking to Mt. Evans as he found snow, cold streams to romp through, good smells out the car window, and the honor of carrying my rain and cold weather gear.

Red Necks are not just in Texas

Wednesday:

1. Went to South Park, CO. Now I get why they made a tv show about the place - it is quiet, a little bizarre, and stuck in the middle of nowhere cool. Summer sucks ;)

2. Ate at the "Brown Burro" in South Park where, in spite of being so close to all the hippie-esque ski resorts, everyone has a southern accent and wears Wranglers and shit kickers.

3. Had a lively conversation with Tom, manager of Ace Hardware, about my plans for a tarp and rope.

4. Spent an evening sharing a campfire with three early 20s self-described red necks who taught me some new words and a new appreciation for people who drink crap beer and have nothing but meat in their cooler.

5. Discovered Preston had not informed Liz of appropriate attire for camping in the mountains. She was cold and did not sleep as I snoozed away in my fleece burrito and mummy bag.

6. Black fur on a dog does not mean the are any less filthy and in need of bathing.

Powerlessness

Decided to climb my first 14er (a peak above 14,000 feet) on Tuesday and Jess suggested Mt. Bierstadt, the easiest and most accessible 14er in Colorado - don't worry, humility is coming!

We made it to the trail head in spite of the lack of signage, there was none. My rationalization for this - National Parks have all sorts of stupid people visiting them and so the need for copious signage is appropriate. Whereas, users of National Forests are typically more dedicated and knowledgeable making lots of signs a little unnecessary. It was a brisk 45 degrees at Guanella Pass as we began our hike down from the parking area into a squishy meadow. By this time we started gaining serious elevation, the wind was picking up and the temperature dropping. About half way there, we began passing other hikers on their way down, many in down parkas, winter hats, mittens, etc... I brushed them off as overzealous gear heads with their trekking poles, gaiters, and altimeter watches. Gear is cool but really? Are we on K2?

By the time we hit the saddle I was beginning to feel a necessity for a parka. Brr! The wind was 30+ and the temp was well below 40. A quick look and a photo of the incredible view sent us racing down and out of the wind. The mountains are so humbling and remind me how I am so powerless in this universe. I am one person connected to the rest of the world in the biggest of ways. The hike gave me a lot of time to think about control, powerlessness, and unmanageability - if for no other reason than to distract thoughts of pain or cold.

4 hours, 1800 calories, and one amazing cardio burn later, we were back at the car and into dry socks. Lesson learned - when you look at the very nice gloves in your car before going on a hike and think, "probably won't need those," bring them anyway. Hiking Mt. Bierstadt has inspired me to hike more big hills - Mt. Evans, Mt. Rosalie, and others are on my list for this trip. I think I'll drive Liz and Preston up Pikes Peak but I will avoid eating donuts and the summit. I remember that lesson very well from being 9 years old and puking the entire way down the mountain.

No plans

Today I made no plans and that was the best decision I made all day. Liz ran in the morning and I wandered to the grocery store. Amazed at all the choices of vegan products, I browsed until I remembered the dogs were likely baking in the sun outside. Tucker and Kona were sitting and watching bikers, walkers, and skateboarders in the smallest sliver of shade from a garbage can. I mowed down about two pints of fruit, packed up the bullet pack, and we headed up into the foothills. The hike was so uneventful but very quieting for everyone, especially the dogs. Back down in Denver, we made a delightful meal for Kelly after her long day at the hospital. Enjoying wine and good conversation caps a day of no plans. I feel good today - I am right where I am supposed to be.

Waiting

At first I believed I had to leave in order to begin this journey but have since been enlightened to a new perspective. In the last few weeks many things have taught me to just find a piece of amazing in the small and seemingly mundane. This gorgeous butterfly sat near me yesterday while I read and wrote. As I finished my sentences, before I even moved to close my journal, it got up and fluttered away. I can't help but wonder how much I would have noticed in any other moment. I was humbled by the simplicity of life I witnessed. Today, I was also humbled by the amount of stuff that does not fit into the Subaru.